Divorce: supporting your friends and praying for God's guidance

I have a dear friend who is just beginning to deal with a cheating husband and a divorce. It's his third time cheating and this time she is done taking it. She is an amazing friend, a committed Christian and a loving mother to her three children and her husband's niece, since the girl's mother tends to disappear. She has spent the last 14 years loving him unquestionably, raising the children, keeping the house, caring for her elderly mother and, when she could squeeze some personal time in, attending the nursing program at BC to create a better life for her family.

And her husband, who has a really good job, took it upon himself to take a night job....a somewhat sketchy night job. She didn't like it, but she tolerated it. They needed the extra money. But 4 to 8 quickly turned to 4 to 9, eventually 4 to 10 and sometimes, he didn't come home until the wee hours of the morning. This could have gone on indefinitely if she allowed it. But that is not who she is anymore. She stood up and said "NO!" You can't be a part-time father, a no-time husband and someone who is a part of this family on his own terms. I'm not pro-divorce, but I am anti-walk-all-over-me-because-I love-you.

This isn't about me, but it makes my divorce (more than 13 years ago) very fresh for me. I feel her pain. I feel the roller coaster of emotions she feels as he comes and goes, seemingly unable to choose between his family and the new woman in his life. But mostly, I'm mad on her behalf and for myself.

So David (my beloved husband) and I want to do anything we can to help. This is where our "Mars and Venus" mix-up quite obvious. David (Venus) is the loving, nurturing, "let me hold you and listen to you person." I, on the other hand, am the Mars. My response is "alright, lets get down to business and divorce this sucker right now."

I think she needs both approaches right now. And both of us, having been blindsided by cheating spouses in our earlier marriages, need to help her. We were lucky. We had financial stability, close families to take care of us and, eventually, each other. She has no money, five people to take care of (not counting herself) and a growing fear that her husband is going to refuse to pay support and leave her homeless.

Through all of this, her faith is unwavering. She doesn't pray for God to heal her marriage. She prays for God to give her strength to follow whatever plan He has for her. I ask you, my readers, to pray for her too. It is hard to believe that in today's day and age, that a beautiful, smart, funny, loving woman can be left in the streets through no fault of her own. I believe we are all part of God's plan for her...a plan to help her survive and perhaps a plan for the rest of us to appreciate the gifts he has given us and the wisdom to use those gifts to help others as He did for us.

Bless you all and please, offer up your prayers for this family.

Cristy