Becoming a Yard Sale Ninja, Lesson 2

As promised here is the second lesson in successful yard sale shopping. I'm going to assume you used my advice from yesterday and have figured out where you want to go and gathered all your supplies. I need to add another reminder about Friday shopping. You may be thinking, "I can't do that, I work on Fridays." Nice try. Yard sales start at 5 or 6 a.m. whether the ad says "no early birds" or not. That gives you a good hour or two before work...primo shopping time! Okay. My Friday propaganda is done for now, so let's move on to working the actual sale.

1. Make sure you are prepared according to my directions yesterday. List of sales, chocolate mini-donuts and soda with crushed ice, small bills and a navigation system (called a map in my world.) In my advanced yard sale program, you can learn about the more serious tools I've seen in my work. Nothing says serious like a shopper in a miner's hat with a blinding LED light standing on the sidewalk at 3 a.m.
2. Be picky. If the yard sale looks lame, chances are it is lame. So do the annoyingly slow drive-by to see if they have the good stuff in the garage, on the side of the house or (nirvana) an estate sale inside the house. Don't be afraid to keep driving if you don't think it is worth your time. It means more time for you and upholds my personal political agenda of outlawing yard sales with less than 20 items.
3.  Be flexible. Another good yard sale tool is a small set of binoculars. Unless you're 17, your eyes may have difficulty reading those yard sale signs as you fly by, all hopped up on sugar, caffeine and hope. Use your specs to check out the signs you see, make sure they are current (people should have to take down their signs by the end of the weekend or face prosecution in my Utopia) and take a leap of faith as to whether you want to stay the course or follow this new path. Use the force to guide you. And the driver should never serve as the spotter unless you have a death wish.
4. Work with a partner. This is war. And how well you fight it determines how much booty you walk away with. Partner with other upcyclers or friends who "get" you and know what you want. Your last resort is your spouse, but beware. While they mean well, they can be easily distracted by shiny things such as tools, golf clubs or barbecue grills. And then they drop the Petunia Picklebottom Diaper bag in pristine condition for $5, only to have it snatched up by some lady who has no idea who Petunia Picklebottom is, but figures it must be good since you are now beating your husband with the tools and golf clubs (and the grill if you have the strength.)
5. A note about kids. If you must bring yours, it's a good idea to give them each a couple of bucks and teach them about capitalism while keeping them out of your hair. They'll get their new toy itch scratched and you'll have toys to sell in your next yard sale. Other people's kids aren't so easy. For every thoughtful shopper, there seems to be dozens that let their kids run amok. Take a deep breath, remember your goal and shove them out of the way if you have to. And for goodness sakes, watch out for the little urchins as you arrive or leave. Nothing can ruin your shopping day like running over someone.
6. Grab the goods! If you think you may even consider wanting something, grab it and carry it with you...this is where those great oversize recycled bags come in handy...kind of like your own shopping cart. If someone is looking at something you want, don't be rude and grab it (unless you really want it.) Lurk. Sigh heavily. Scream, "Oh my gosh, I just saw Justin Bieber at the yard sale across the street." Works every time. Once you think you've done your damage, hunker down in a corner and paw through your stuff. Keep what you really want and put the rest back (and stand back so you don't get hurt while someone else snatches it from you!)
7. You've heard that most people are more afraid of public speaking than dying. I'm thinking haggling is a close third. You don't want to insult the seller, but every penny you save is...well...a penny you save. Work it like an Ebay auction. Know ahead of time how much are you willing to pay and what you consider your walk-away price. Remember, the earlier in the sale, the less likely sellers are usually willing to haggle. Come back on Sunday and they will pay you to take it! My favorite technique is to let them try and tell me the cost of each individual item. Once I figure out where they are going, I graciously interrupt them and make an offer for the whole lot, usually about 20 percent less than what all the items would be individually. If you pull the cash out of your pocket as you say it, the motivation factor is increased. Nine times out of ten, they will take it rather than have to do the math. And, hey, you've already got your treasures bagged!
8. Finally, make sure your eyes aren't bigger than your car. There is nothing funnier than someone trying to strap a king size bed on top of a Nissan Cube, unless you are that person. Don't be that person. Drive a LARGE vehicle or make arrangements for a friend with a truck to come back later to pick up your larger items.

Okay, this is much longer than I planned, but I want you to be ready to storm the beaches tomorrow (Friday!) I'm going with some of my other gainfully unemployed girlfriends. I'll try and figure out how to post illustrative photos of the process and maybe a video or two! Happy shopping!